Growing up poor in Zandahar, Virali Venkateshankumari worked at her parents’ roadside stall from the moment she could walk. Because her parents could only afford coffee for the store, she grew up drinking only that. At age 8 there was more caffeine in her system than blood and she magically replicated herself to split the load.

She realized if the caffeine in her system was too low, she would not be able to replicate, so she started making gallons of coffee to sustain dozens of versions of herself. Thus began her career as the coffee magnate of the world. Her stores are all operated by her, considering it a service to her guests - a bougee, overpriced, soy milk based service with extra foam. She remembers everything her customers tell her and finds gossip about them to invite them into staying at the store and ordering more coffee.

Every day is a celebration - literally - as her infinite forms are always celebrating an occasion for someone, forcing every customer to try the customary sweets. Those who dare refuse are shamed for being too skinny and she is known to call people’s parents to complain about them.

When instigated, she prays to her gods to hold her back but you don’t want to get on her wrong side, because she never slaps just once!